10/1/12 - It
is pregnancy test day, and I’m sitting here trying to start my blog about
becoming a gestational carrier and I don’t know where to begin! The beginning
is what some would say. But that seems so boring! I had wanted to get this
going prior to this day, but the daunting task…figuring out where to begin, of
course…has delayed me, not to mention just life in general. I’m expecting the
call anytime now. I’m DYING to know. Prior to the transfer and the first few
days after the transfer, I was sure, without a doubt, that I would be pregnant
from this first try. But now, I’m not sure. Doubt has crept into my mind. (Or
my intuition? Or my unnecessary worrying?) I have spent the past week noticing
and analyzing every single body change:
I am WAY more sensitive to motion today and just generally feel OFF. I MUST be pregnant!
Is that my uterus? Or is that gas? Hmmm, clearly my uterus. No, I think gas. I guess I’m not pregnant.
Why am I SO hungry all the time now? I MUST be pregnant!
I really don’t feel that abnormal than usual. I guess I’m not pregnant.
Was that cramping from the procedure or from implantation? I’m going to go with implantation. I MUST be pregnant!
Oh, and this week, I had certain restrictions as well. No alcohol, no caffeine, no orgasms, lots of hydration, not too hot, no exercise, i.e. elevated heart rate, and that rounds out most of it I believe. Cue no elevated heart rate (I was allowed a brisk 20 min walk a day, but nothing more than that), so every time I felt my heart rate elevate AT ALL, I stopped myself from doing whatever I was doing. Randomly dancing around the house with my 3 year old…not this week! I nearly slipped up a couple times too! We spent the weekend at the university family weekend with my oldest, so did some walking around campus (not brisk! I watched that heart rate like a hawk! Besides, nothing is brisk with a 3 year old. Everything takes longer!), and there was a bouncy slide my 3 year old wanted to go down. But she’s not big enough yet to be able to climb the one side on her own. So I helped her and went down the slide with her. Apparently putting one hand under her butt as she climbed and climbing behind her that short distance, then sliding down, was enough to increase my heart rate for a minute. No more for me! Surely a couple minutes of increased heart rate is not going to make a difference, right?!
So that is how the week has gone. Me second guessing EVERYTHING, and watching what I eat too. I think, actually, that since the placenta wouldn’t have formed yet, that I probably wouldn’t need to worry so much just yet, but I have checked which of my favorite cheeses are pasteurized vs. unpasteurized. I have asked if the Caesar salad is made with raw eggs. I have avoided questionable pasta salad and hot dogs from a BBQ in case it’s been sitting out too long. And most painfully, I have eaten my last meal of raw sushi.
So now I wait…and wait…and wait, for a phone call about a blood test this morning. The local monitoring IVF center has to send the results to the clinic who did my procedure in New Jersey, and they have to call me to let me know the results. The closer it gets to 5:00pm, the more I’m afraid I won’t know today! That would be unbearable. I might need to go purchase a drugstore pregnancy test and hope that it’s not too early for the pee to speak the truth. If they can tell from my blood, I can tell from my pee, right?! Because I REALLY don’t want to wait until tomorrow to find out the results of my test. I’m sure my IP’s (that’s intended parents for the rest of you), are dying to know even more than I am. Surely we must know today, right?! Right?! And so I continue to wait…
I am WAY more sensitive to motion today and just generally feel OFF. I MUST be pregnant!
Is that my uterus? Or is that gas? Hmmm, clearly my uterus. No, I think gas. I guess I’m not pregnant.
Why am I SO hungry all the time now? I MUST be pregnant!
I really don’t feel that abnormal than usual. I guess I’m not pregnant.
Was that cramping from the procedure or from implantation? I’m going to go with implantation. I MUST be pregnant!
Oh, and this week, I had certain restrictions as well. No alcohol, no caffeine, no orgasms, lots of hydration, not too hot, no exercise, i.e. elevated heart rate, and that rounds out most of it I believe. Cue no elevated heart rate (I was allowed a brisk 20 min walk a day, but nothing more than that), so every time I felt my heart rate elevate AT ALL, I stopped myself from doing whatever I was doing. Randomly dancing around the house with my 3 year old…not this week! I nearly slipped up a couple times too! We spent the weekend at the university family weekend with my oldest, so did some walking around campus (not brisk! I watched that heart rate like a hawk! Besides, nothing is brisk with a 3 year old. Everything takes longer!), and there was a bouncy slide my 3 year old wanted to go down. But she’s not big enough yet to be able to climb the one side on her own. So I helped her and went down the slide with her. Apparently putting one hand under her butt as she climbed and climbing behind her that short distance, then sliding down, was enough to increase my heart rate for a minute. No more for me! Surely a couple minutes of increased heart rate is not going to make a difference, right?!
So that is how the week has gone. Me second guessing EVERYTHING, and watching what I eat too. I think, actually, that since the placenta wouldn’t have formed yet, that I probably wouldn’t need to worry so much just yet, but I have checked which of my favorite cheeses are pasteurized vs. unpasteurized. I have asked if the Caesar salad is made with raw eggs. I have avoided questionable pasta salad and hot dogs from a BBQ in case it’s been sitting out too long. And most painfully, I have eaten my last meal of raw sushi.
So now I wait…and wait…and wait, for a phone call about a blood test this morning. The local monitoring IVF center has to send the results to the clinic who did my procedure in New Jersey, and they have to call me to let me know the results. The closer it gets to 5:00pm, the more I’m afraid I won’t know today! That would be unbearable. I might need to go purchase a drugstore pregnancy test and hope that it’s not too early for the pee to speak the truth. If they can tell from my blood, I can tell from my pee, right?! Because I REALLY don’t want to wait until tomorrow to find out the results of my test. I’m sure my IP’s (that’s intended parents for the rest of you), are dying to know even more than I am. Surely we must know today, right?! Right?! And so I continue to wait…
Perhaps this
would be a good time to once again, ponder going back to the beginning.
Nope, it’s
not a good time, because I got the call, and I’m PREGNANT!!!! 100% She said
these are the preliminary results. Full results are coming back tomorrow, but
she didn’t want us to have to wait to know that I’m definitely pregnant! I
said, there’s no chance it’s a false positive or anything like that, right, and
she said no! Definitely pregnant! Woohoo! So excited for my IP’s, and just
looking forward to being pregnant again. I loved being pregnant, which was part
of the reason I decided to do this, which actually brings me back to the beginning
again. I guess I should actually start it now. Here we go…
hi jess amazing so far what a journey it has been already looking forward to following the journey with you xxx
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandra :-) xxx
ReplyDelete